El Shaddai--all sufficent one

Right now,I don't have a steady job.I feel this time is designed to strengthen my trust in you,Jehovah Jireh! And to help me realize I'm useful...even with out a job.

i feel like I'm wasting time,just living day to day with out a purpose...

Thoughts of a lonely daughter...

Father, I'm lonely.
I feel the walls that you (and I ) want to break down
but have a hard time finding the courage I know you have placed deep in me....
confidence in you...in my self... In you in me...in me in You!

I know you are drawing me into your presence through this lonely time....to strengthen me...renew me...all in your presence...

I have ideas of whats holding me back from running into your loving arms...

fear of rejection...I know you created me, I know you love me...I know you have plans for me (although, I only have a very small inkling what they entail,and seemingly nothing to proceed) , I know all this...but I guess I see my self like my coffee cups ...I have several... EVEN THOUGH I've purchased *most of* them,chose *most of*them off the shelf.,and each serves a purpose *albeit,the same purpose*, I still have my favorites. The ones I use most. The ones that are the style I prefer. The ones I would be "more sad" about breaking/losing. There are also the ones that I have that are practical and pretty,but ...just not my preference. Ones I wouldn't miss as much...

Much like us humans.You bought us.You designed us. You chose us. We even have a common purpose...to Glorify you!  I guess I feel like a "practical and pretty" ,not a "favorite" vessel.

I don't see my worth. I guess I'm afraid if I don't see it, others don't ,and will reject me as "worthless". Therefore,I save them the trouble and do it for them.

...Show me that I'm worth something? I know I am in my head,just need to get it into my heart and spirit...

also, with out having a definite purpose...a clear defined vision...a goal... it just seems I'm living day to day and just existing...and adds to the "worthless" thing....

also...some times I wonder If I really know what I'm doing?! I mean, I believe 100% in the stuff I've been trained in and shown, but it's kinda like a baby bird...am I really ready to be pushed outta the nest and forced to fly? I feel like I need some side by side training...not necessarily spoon fed again...just some one to remind me I'm not in this alone...

And I know I'm not...YOU,gracious one, have coveted to never leave me...and you are faithful,through and through...

Goodnight,
I love you!

Matt 7:7

 

Daddy, I'm thankful for your faithfulness. You said ASK,AND I SHALL RECEIVE,SEEK,AND I SHALL FIND,KNOCK AND IT SHALL BE OPENED ...and I believe.




Lord,I love and am eternally grateful for your grace,provision,and protection.However, I feel "stuck".
Not happy . Frustrated.

I come as your daughter,telling my dreams to my Father!

I dream of

• stability in a job... some what predictable hours,and pay. So I can tithe,budget,sow,save,splurge.
• a place of my "own"... to decorate how I wish,organize how I wish.
• someone...connect with,share life with,challenges,joy,questions,experiences...
• opportunities...to get out of my box,and to reach the ends of the Earth with your amazing love.
• Visions... teaching the littlest warriors about your ways...

I need direction. You've brought me to a very open,transient place right now...Its like you dropped me in a meadow....all around all I can see is grass land and wildflowers,and wheat. I don't know which way to go...

King James Bible  Jude 1:2
Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied.